24 (The Staring)

John tells me there are certain people that are more animal than man. In most situations, he says, you’d never know the difference. “Perhaps they’re a little too much. The signs seem insignificant though and in this culture, we often prize the ruthless. It starts off with competition. You watch, he’ll get carried away. He …

23 (hazy)

In the morning, I wake up disoriented, but I don't tell anyone. I don't voice my concerns about any type of problem with my body or mind. It's a temporary privilege to believe that showing weakness won't harm you. In this day in age, children are encouraged to share everything. Feelings, sadness, every bump and …

22 (Foggy)

“I got your letters, but I knew I couldn’t write you. Not really. I remember vague explanations of cheap alcohol and the playing cards we made ourselves, drawing the same naked woman on the back of each one. I wanted war to sound better than it was because if you believed it, maybe I could. …

21 (Perspective)

I've been thinking a lot about hell. We all have a section of hell carved out in our own lives, but it's different for every person. If a wealthy woman who has never known the concept of work has to become a dishwasher in old age, is it the same degree of hell as someone …

20 (Hell)

“You had to watch out for the nights.” John’s voice, although quieter, has returned. “Back when we were young and dumb, we weren’t as careful as we’d become. Men in sleeping bags, unaware of the Chinese, had their throats cut. The wounds on some were so deep, I wasn’t sure if they still had heads.” …

19 (Oranges)

There was one remaining orange in the breakfast basket. It was untouched because it’s John’s. If anyone else is aware of his absence, they say nothing. The woman with the lavender nightgown wouldn’t even look at it. John stays quiet on the other side of the wall. The only thing I’ve heard in days is …

18 (Rejecting)

Sue is not visiting this week. She says I should ‘take advantage’ of all Golden Meadows has to offer. She means the water color classes and the poetry readings. I don’t write poetry and I don’t paint. I’d rather listen to John in the evenings. I’m starting to feel like part of those dysfunctional couples …

17 (Tennis balls)

John hasn’t spoken through the vents in weeks, but I know he’s there because I can hear him. He was agitated in the beginning. Objects were picked up and put down. Footsteps covered the entire length of his room. Last week, something crashed again and I didn’t see him until several days later. He now …

16 (Happiness Is What You Can Live Without)

I hate August. Not only because I can’t stop the oppression no matter how loud the air conditioning runs, but because it smells like August. It smells like all of the birthdays my youngest child celebrated. Like carefully crafted fruit tarts with pink candles stuck in the center. Like all the dime store cinnamon lotions …

15 (Jackson)

“Jackson was a big guy - tough. He’d fight anyone. It’s one thing for kids in the high school to fight one another, but to fight someone there meant you knew just how tough they were. Jackson’s game was to humiliate the men who couldn’t fake their stoicism. He could find a ‘feeler’ in any …